Going into 2017 content and ready!!!

  Well it’s that time. That time that everyone starts reflecting on the past year and begins to plan ahead for the next. New Year’s Eve can be over rated but for me, I’m just looking to put 2016 in the past and I’m ready to make 2017 my year.   We started off 2016 pregnant and happy and content and although I’m not pregnant at the end of this year, I am happy and content. This year came with a ton of struggle for me but also a lot of great memories as well. Losing two pregnancies in 2016 should have broken me but guess what? I’m still here and I may be slightly broken, but I’m ok. 

  I’ve learned that life isn’t easy, that you have to work at it to make things happen. I’ve learned that I’m not perfect and I never will be, but I’m content with that. I’ve learned that struggle is real and if you don’t get help or find something to help you release the bullshit, your going to crack at some point. I’ve also learned how to be happy with what life has given me and I’ve stopped wishing for more because everything I have is ENOUGH. 

  Being a mom has taught me a lot over the past 2 years. Striving to be the perfect mom isn’t the way to go, striving to be the best version of yourself is way more realistic. I obsess over everything, I need things to be perfect and when they aren’t I can explode. This year is when I realized that nothing is perfect and I have to deal with it. It wasn’t easy and I’m still dealing but for the most part I’m starting to enough life and all of its moments. You can’t control everything in life and that’s really hard for me to grasp but That’s life. It’s unpredictable and amazing and awful and right back to amazing again. 


  As I look into 2017 with a new outlook on life, I hope to feel as content as I am right now. I only wish for everyone to have a happy and healthy New year and start enjoying all of life’s great gifts. You may be praying for a new baby or a new career and keep doing that. You never know what life will have in store for you going into 2017. Just take care of yourself and do the things you said you were going to do. 


  For me I want to keep trying for baby number 2 even if it isn’t in the stars for us. I don’t want to regret not giving it a shot and that may mean talking about IVF, which scares the living shit out of me, but if that’s what it takes than here we go! I also want to try to go on vacation with just my husband. We would love to visit Ireland and although we are broke and have bills and debt and need a new car. We deserve a break and vacation so hopefully we get to do that sometime this year. We are going to work for it in 2017. Wether it breaks us or not. You only have one life and one chance to make things happen. This is going to be our year and I won’t take no for an answer. 
Have a Happy and Healthy and Safe and Lucky and Hopeful New Year!!!
K.Blesi

#thelittletouches #newyearseve #byebye2016 #hello2017 #ouryear #family#infertility #recurrentmisscariage #IVF #beingcontent #perfectionisnteverything #averagemom #life 

  

  
  

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How I’m dealing with pregnancy loss and trying to be thankful on Thanksgiving. 

  Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday to celebrate. The holiday always doubled as a birthday celebration since My birthday is around thanksgiving. Sometimes it even falls on the holiday every few years and who wouldn’t love that. Amazing food, drinks, family and my favorite pumpkin pie. Despite the fact that I don’t like turkey, I was always offered a special meal just for me. I always request ham and since it’s my birthday my mom always delivered. I never imagined that this year would change for me.

  3 years ago I was anxious and excited, leading up to Thanksgiving and my birthday. Mostly because I was about to share some pretty amazing news with all my friends and family. After 3 years of trying to get pregnant and 2 miscarriages, I was finally far enough along to be able to announce our pregnancy. We had concrete evidence that everything was moving along as expected and I was into my second trimester and feeling great. I made my husband a shirt that read “I love my pregnant wife”. He wore it under his button up and revealed it later into a family party. We just waited for someone to notice what his shirt said and it didn’t take long at all. I heard some cheers from the other room and my name being called. Finally I could be excited instead of a nervous wreck. It felt amazing to celebrate this absolute Miracle.

  The past two thanksgivings have been incredible. I’ve been so thankful to be able to celebrate with my amazing little boy and my family. Our traditions continued and I was so happy again. My life felt complete in a way I could never imagine. It wasn’t until this past September that i could see that changing for me.


  Between 2015 and 2016 we suffered 2 more miscarriages bringing our grand total to 4. I was extremely optimistic leading into September that we where gonna be pregnant again. We decided to move forward with the recommendation of our Fertility Doctor although I kind of customized our cycle to what we where comfortable with. I was ok taking the medicine and doing the trigger shot but I couldn’t go forward with another IUI. It just didn’t feel right to be so medical with such an intimate thing. We decided to try on our own with a little help from some fertility drugs. Again I went into the two week wait with extreme anxiety, excitement, and optimism. If this panned out the way I was hoping it did, we would be pregnant almost the exact cycle that we conceived our son, Jake. 


  I woke up the morning I would take the pregnancy test and decided I wasn’t ready to face it. I went to work anxious and nauseous hoping it wasn’t just nerves. Half way through work I, couldn’t wait any longer. I took a break, drove to Walgreens, and picked up the first pregnancy test I saw. I Returned to work to see what it revealed. As I waited the 3-5 minutes, I think I experienced a panic attack. I sat down and Tried to breath and then looked at the test. It was negative. I thought to myself, it’s ok, maybe it’s still early. I would go for bloodwork in the morning just to be sure. I took a deep breath and went about my day. 

  When I got home I realized there was another test in the box. I hid in the bathroom for a few minutes and again waited for the results. This time it was POSTIVE. A glimmer of hope ran through my body but I couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiousness. The next day the blood work came back great and they congratulated me on my pregnancy. Relief followed by anxiety shook me again.

  The next two weeks where very stressful but I tried to stay postive. I enjoyed time with my son and family and attended some fall and Halloween festivities. I didn’t have any signs that something was wrong and that helped to relive the anxious feeling I couldn’t get away from. The first ultrasound came and went so well that the doctor thought that maybe there was two embryos instead of just one. I was progressing normally again. 

  A week later I returned with my husband and son to see the heartbeat. The night before my husband was so excited but I couldn’t shake this terrible feeling I had. I held in my feeling from my husband and amused his feeling of joy. As I layed on the table and the lights went out, I held my breath waiting for some good news. Unfortunately it wasn’t good. The baby stopped growing and I felt myself going back into the hole I tried so desperately to dig myself out of. 

  I Tried to grieve as fast as possible with this one so that I could be there to help my son enjoy Halloween and all the other holidays that follow. That was probably not the best idea looking back because as I’m sitting here on the day before thanksgiving, all I want to do is be back in that hole. I would have been moving into my second trimester and ready to share our exciting news on thanksgiving day again but instead I’ll have to suck it up and pretend like I’m doing just fine.

  One instance just ruined my favorite holiday and my birthday and I can’t help feeling alone again. So today I’ll grieve, I’ll cry, I’ll allow myself the time I need but tomorrow on thanksgiving day 2016, I will pull myself together, put on my favorite dress, do my makeup, and be with my family. As much as 5 miscarriages can crumble a person I refuse to let it bring me down anymore. I have so much to be thankful for.

  Going through infertility and pregnancy loss can be magnified during the holidays and I’ve been through plenty of holidays feeling stressed and depressed but I’m at a point now that I don’t want to be that person. 

  If you need to limit your interactions with parties that involve children and pregnant friends or family. Don’t feel guilty for saying no. Putting yourself in places like that can make your depression even worse.

   If that annoying person turns around to you and asks extremely personal questions about when your having a baby or when baby number two is coming, walk away and grab another drink or ask them something personal and see how they feel about it. The questions have become inappropriate and so intrusive when your going through something so traumatizing and honestly, you don’t need to amuse them. It’s none of their business. 

  Be with the people you love and enjoy the distractions that make you happy. Most of all, allow yourself to be sad when you feel necessary. Your not weak, your strong. Your not alone, your just a little lost. That’s ok. Do what feels best for you. Try and enjoy this holiday season and remember your not the only one out there waiting on a miracle. Try and be thankful even though it feels like you can’t. This journey made you the person you are today and the people supporting you deserve a huge thanks. You are here reading this and breathing so I would say that something to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!!!

  

Written by: Kristine Blesi
#TheLittleTouches #Thanksgiving #infertility #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #grievingmother #family #givethanks #thankful #birthday 

My favorite White Sangria Recipe.

Friday night I decided to host a party to show case Lularoe clothing for my friends and family. Lularoe is gaining major popularity due to their butter soft leggings and their versatile yet comfortable clothes. I’ve become slightly obsessed with the styles of clothing especially since I am a mom and want something comfy yet also stylish. This fits both categories for me. 


  When planning for this party I wanted some yummy and easy appetizers, possibly a dessert and no party is complete without a fun cocktail to help set the mood. 

  My first thought was, I want some type of cocktail that is light and easy and nothing that would stain the clothing if someone spilled anything. Sangria was what I decided on. Although fall is more for a red sangria, I opted for a white sangria instead. I love both red and white wine but I tend to go toward a white wine on a regular basis. I’ve made this sangria often on special occasions so I’m so excited to share it with you! I’ve browsed dozens of sangria recipes on Pinterest and although this isn’t a particular one, it will sure be a hit at any party. 

  As I headed to the grocery store, I made a list of everything I would need for the party but in particular my white sangria. Because let’s face it, the snacks at a party are a big deal, but most people come to a party for a nice cocktail. 

  The first stop was my grocery store, Giant Food Store, and as I entered I made my way to the produce section. I wanted a nice sweet apple to accent my wine so I started there. Honey crisp apples where on sale, and although they where smaller than I wanted, I could make them work. I grabbed a dozen even though I didn’t need that many. I just figured my son or my two nieces wouldn’t mind the extras. Next was grapes, you could use both but for a white sangria I opted for green grapes. You need alittle citrus for this recipe so I also grabbed two oranges and one lemon and one lime. Checking things off my list, I continued through the grocery store. 

 Next stop was the drink aisle. Some people use seltzer, others use fruit juices and other things, but my favorite thing to finish off my sangria is diet Ginger ale. It’s light and sweet and gives the sangria a bubbly feel.  Any brand will due but I went with Canada Dry Diet Ginger ale. Next, I knew I was really low on sugar so I picked some up just in case. 

 Last stop on the sangria list was the freezer section. Fruit is a huge part of any sangria recipe but the problem I find to be the hardest, is keeping it cold without watering down the wine. I got this idea when I had a very hot, and humid party in the summer and my ice was melting by the second. It was a quick thinking moment when I opened my freezer and noticed a bag of frozen fruit that I usually use for smoothies. I dumped the whole thing in my sangria pitcher and the best part was, as it melted it only made sangria better rather than watering it down. You could really use any mixtures of fruit or just strawberries or blueberries but for this recipe, my favorite, is a mixed blend of tropical fruit. The bag at Giant Food Store had Strawberries, peaches, pineapple, and mango. It’s such a great addition to this light and flavorful white sangria.

  As I finished up my shopping, I made my way home to get started on the preparations. I got my Margaritaville Beverage Dispenser Out of storage and washed it so it was ready to go. Margaritaville 2.5 Gallon Plastic Beverage, Water, Drink, Alcohol Dispenser w/ Ice Bucket https://www.amazon.com/dp/B010J4O4I0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_semmybWPK3RXV  I love this specific pitcher bc it’s 2.5 gallons so I can double my recipe for larger parties and it comes with an ice core so that helps it keep cold as the frozen fruit melts, and again, doesn’t water the mixture down. 


  I like to start this the day before so that it has plenty of time to marinate. So I got out all my fruit and washed it, and took out my cutting board and knife. First I used my Kitchen Aide Apple wedger from Target, to slice up my apples. http://www.target.com/p/kitchenaid-red-apple-wedger/-/A-13370556?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Kitchen+Shopping&adgroup=SC_Kitchen&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=m&location=9007332&gclid=CjwKEAiAjcDBBRCJxouz9fWHynwSJADaJg9B4JcQlH6x3A5g2lsxtnTKopR7Q9AMmEXMN5Riby2zlRoCyTXw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds Normally I would use 4 large apples, but because they where on the smaller size I went with 6 honey crisp apples. Next I sliced my two oranges in fours and put them aside with the apples. As for the green grapes, I kind of just wing it with how much and, honestly, you can’t do too much but I like to cut them in halves so that the juices can flavor the wine. After that, I put all of it in my pitcher and moved onto cutting my lemon and lime. You only need the juice of one lemon and one lime. Don’t put the Rhine in,  If you leave them in, it tends to get tart and you don’t want that to happen with sangria.


  To finish with the pre mixture I added a cup of sugar and topped it off with my white wine. I suggest to use a dryer white wine since the fruit and sugar will sweeten it up. My favorite is Pinot Grigio and don’t worry about buying an expensive bottle. Grab what’s on sale at your local wine store. As a side note, Sometimes when I’m making a really large batch, I’ll use a boxed wine since it can be cheap and you get about 4 bottles of wine in it. Once the one is in, it’s time to put the cover on and leave it in the fridge over night.


  The day of your party, wait till it’s  about to begin, to finish off this recipe. For me, I add my ice core for my pitcher first and then finish it off with my bag of frozen mixed fruit and a 2 liter bottle of diet Ginger ale right in with the wine and fruit. A nice stir with your ladle and your sangria is ready to serve. I love this recipe and always get a huge response to it. Believe me, you will have to make a double batch bc most of the time I can’t keep it full. I hope you enjoyed this and can’t wait to share more.


Written by: Kristine Blesi
#Thelittletouches #whitesangria #partytime #momsnightout #sweetwine #easyrecipe #cocktails #fruit #whitewine #pinotgrigio 

Ingredients:

4-6 sweet apples (I used 6 small honey crisp apples) (The larger the Apple the less you need)

2 oranges

Green grapes

1 Lemon

1 Lime 

1cup of Sugar

2 liter bottle of Diet Ginger Ale

Pinto Grigio wine (any dry white wine would work)

Frozen tropical fruit

Directions:

Slice your apples and place them into the picture along with your 2 oranges that you cut in fours. Cut your green grapes in half and add them to the pitcher. Use the juice of a lemon and a lime, but don’t put the Rhine into your mixture. Top with a cup of sugar and the whole bottle of Pinot Grigio. Cover and let sit over night in the refridgerator. 

When your ready, top the marinated mixture with a 2 liter bottle of Diet Ginger Ale and the bag of frozen tropical fruit. Stir and your ready to serve.

  

I survived preschool drop off 

Today I got my sons very first preschool picture and it made my heart smile.He isn’t technically preschool because he is 2, so they call them the tiny tots program. I work as a permanent makeup artist one day a week and I also do hair and makeup for weddings on the weekends so I was having such a great time being able to be home with my baby but I wanted more for him.   We got a recommendation of a program that the YMCA runs. It’s either a 2 or 3 day class for 2 hours and they start at 2 years old. It was great having Jake at home with me but I wanted to expose him to some type of schooling and give him a chance to interact with kids his own age. After careful consideration we decided to start out with 2 days and see how it went.

https://philaymca.org/locations/northeast/child-care/

  For anyone who had a child in preschool, drop offs in the beginning are pure torture. The only people I ever left him with was family and now he is being left with strangers and expected to behave. I thought, there is no way this is gonna go well.

  Day one, to start out, was great. He was so cute in his new school clothes and was so excited to wear his backpack. I got him out the door and took a few pictures and got him in the car with no problems. When we got there he was totally fine. Jake is rather shy so he made me hold him as we lined up with the other parents and children in his class. At 9:30am the gate opened and we where told to just hand our child off to the teacher and walk away. 


  He walked in like it was nothing as the teacher guided him down the path. As he made his way to the door to school, he turned around and realized I wasn’t coming with him. At that moment the melt down began. Guilt filled my body as I had to walk away from my child and not comfort him. Would he be tormented for life that I just left him with strangers? Would he never forgive me? Would he ever stop crying? My mind was going crazy. My tears didn’t wait till I got to the car, they just flooded out uncontrollably. 

  I drove home from drop off thinking I would have two hours to do laundry, clean the kitchen, or do anything that was productive. Instead I sat on my couch with my keys still in my hand sobbing. Those two hours felt like a lifetime. 

  As I returned to pick him up from his first day of school, I was a nervous wreck. Was he gonna hate me? I hope not. As the gate opened for us anxious parents, we rushed in the see our babies. It was a little chaotic when we all entered the classroom but it was the first day and all the kids where excited to see their parents. The teacher assured me he didn’t cry the entire time and although it should have given me relief, I couldn’t help to still feel guilty.


  The next day we had off and I gave him extra cuddles to make up for leaving him at school the day before. When Thursday came, he new the routine I was starting and he didn’t like one bit of it. I anticipated the second day being the worst but not like this. He cried getting dressed, he cried walking out the door, he threw a fit getting into the car and cried the entire ride to school. Drop off was terrible and the teacher had to pry him from my arms. Again I went home sobbing. This wasn’t right. How could I be doing this to my child? Was I a bad mom for putting him through this? Should I just forget about school and never make him go back?


  When the next week came I sucked it up and continued on with our routine. He still protested some what but it wasn’t as bad as the second day. He started to cry as we pulled into the school parking lot. I got him out and put his back pack on and walked to our line to wait for the teacher. I asked him if he wanted to get down, he said YES! Maybe this was progress? As the teacher opened the gate she held out her hand and he willingly took it and walked down the pathway with her. He was still crying but I felt a little bit of hope that maybe this was a good thing for him. When I returned to school to pick him up that day, he was sitting quietly at his table along with all his classmates. It was like a totally different classroom. There where no crys, no melt downs, just the cutest 2 year old waiting for their parents. 


  Each drop off began to get easier and easier. There where no fights anymore and he was genuinely excited when I asked if he wanted to go to school. There are still a few days here or there that he says “NO WAY” but as soon as he sees his teacher and his friends he is totally fine. 

  I couldn’t be happier with the program I chose for my son, I’ve seen such progress in his speech and interaction with other kids. They send home projects that they do in class and have a break down of everything they have the children do each day. It so great to see the progression he is making and being able to see his adorable school picture makes it all worth it. He is happy so now I am happy.

  I have to say in closing, I give all the working moms out there a ton of credit. I send my son 2 days a week for two hours and feel guilty. I couldn’t imagine what it feels like 5 days a week. You are so amazing for doing your thing and working so hard to provide for your family. Starting preschool at age 2 isn’t always the right choice for families but I’m so glad that I signed him up. I wish I could be the awesome stay at home mom and give him more but to be totally honest I’m an average mom that needs a break and what better way to get it then to send him somewhere where he is learning something. We are all on our own path and I don’t judge anyone. Do what’s best for your family and cherish your children. They grow up way too fast!!

Kristine Blesi

#preschool #moms #jakeistwo #preschooldropoffs #YMCA #YMCAnortheastfamily #averagemom #workingmom #stayathomemom #judgmentfreezone 

  

  

The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow.

  I recently came across this photo while I was browsing Facebook. The blog Scarrymommy shared it. The photographer, Alex Bolen, of Shutter Darling Photography captured a stunning image of 6 women that had their own stories of loss but where able to come out of it with their rainbow. In a Facebook captions, Bolen writes, “A rainbow is a promise, of sunshine after rain, of calm after storms, of joy after sadness, of peace after pain, of love after loss.” She says, “A rainbow baby is a baby born following loss. These mommas are just six out of the millions that experience pregnancy/infant loss every day. Some speak out. Some stay silent. Some have lost many. Some try for months or years. Some meet their sleeping angels. All loved and never forgotten.”

Image source

   This got me thinking. Loss is something often shared and talked about but the type of loss that these women endured are something that most people shy away from and don’t speak up about, but let me tell you from experience, this is a loss that most need support more then ever.

  Pregnancy loss is a hard subject to talk about because most people don’t know what to say. They haven’t known that human growing inside of you so it’s hard for them to imagine what your going through. For most people suffering through this loss, the feelings of being alone and embarrassed can be overwhelming. That’s why I think we need to start sharing so that those women feeling trapped in there own nightmare can feel like they aren’t alone. 

  I was a year into my marriage, 28 years old, when it finally hit us that maybe this getting pregnant thing wasn’t gonna be easy for us. 

Image source

My OBGYN referred us to a fertility doctor to see if there was further testing that needed to be done to determine why it wasn’t happening for us. I never thought I would be in this situation, my periods where like clockwork and I never had any indication that I would be one in so many women suffering from infertility. 

  Our first appointment was stressful and after a what felt like a million questions and a ton of bloodwork, we waited to see if there was something that could give us a better answer. Well, there was nothing. Our bloodwork came back normal and TMI my husbands sperm count was above average. So why was this happening, why aren’t we pregnant yet. 

  There where a few Dr.s that we cycled through on our journey to have a baby. Every appointment started with an awkward wait in a room full of other women going through similar situations but eye contact was never made. I still don’t understand that but that’s how i felt in the situation. It was an odd feeling of embarrassment and being alone even though I knew they all where struggling with something like me. 

  Our first cycle approached and the Dr. Suggested we try a round of Clomid with an IUI. In easier terms, that means they took his swimmers and basically turkey basted them into me. Sorry, that was literally how I felt. Lol. Once it was over I was left there with no pants on a cold table with a paper sheet that barely covered me. They let my husband come in and we waited for 10 mins, although it felt like an hour. As we waited we where trying to stay positive so he Tryed to make me laugh and I chanted, in the words of Dory,”Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”.


 After that they sent us home and the dreaded Two week wait had begun. For those of you who don’t know about the two week wait, it’s a two week process where a fertilized egg makes its way to implant into your uterus and you can become pregnant. In other words the two weeks you are stressed and anxious and Google every possible early pregnancy symptom. 

  Well the stars must of been aligned bc two weeks later I got my very first positive pregnancy test. I immediately found a box and wrapped it up so cute with a bow and waited patiently for my husband to get home from work. He was so thrilled to open it and we sat there in our empty house and cried. Finally it was happening for us. The next two weeks where the most exciting and devastating time I have ever gone through. 

  I was too impatient to keep it to myself so I told my mom, my sister, the random lady at the Dr.s office, everyone I could tell. Knowing that there was something growing inside me gave my life a purpose that I have never known. The excitement grew when I got my first phone call after bloodwork congratulating me that I was officially pregnant. 

  Going through fertility, you constantly are going in for bloodwork so the next week I was in every couple of days so they could check if my hcg levels where rising the way they should. I’ll never forget the next few days, they replay in my head all the time. 

  We live on the east coast so hurricane season is often a time we know well. It was 2012 so Predictions of hurricane sandy where playing on the news over and over again, yet I had to get out to the house to go for more bloodwork. The storm was suppose to hit the day I was planning on driving in so I was nervous to get on the roads. It was very windy that day but not too bad. It took me a little longer to get there but I survived the storm and made it there and back with no problems. Again I waited. They weren’t sure if they would be able to get my results to me that day because of the storm but I didn’t care. I was pregnant and that’s all that mattered. 

  That afternoon the Fertility office called. They didn’t sound the same as they had the few times before. They began to tell me that my levels didn’t rise and actually that they where dropping. I didn’t understand what was happening at the moment but the fact of he matter was, I was about to have my very first, yet not last, miscarriage. I was devastated. On top of it all, on the same day I found out I was about to lose my baby, i was given news that my brother was expecting their first baby. A time I wish I could be excited for them and for me, I ended up feeling like a failure. 

  I was told to expect to start bleeding in a few days and to come back for routine bloodwork to make sure my HCG levels would go completely down. It felt like forever waiting for something that I thought was growing to end. Every time I used the bathroom I expected to see blood but it didnt happen for another week. I spent days at home not getting out of bed and crying constantly. I was mourning something I didn’t fully get to know and it was so confusing. My family was torn between the excitement for my brother and his girlfriend that they didn’t know how to handle things with me. No one close to us had ever gone through something like this or so we thought. My husband was grieving in his own way while trying to be there for me but we both didn’t know what each other needed. Still to this day I think about that baby growing inside of me that I didn’t get to hold or know. 

  The next year was filled with bloodtests, ultrasounds, negative pregnancy tests, and disappointment. Going through this journey to have our rainbow baby became too stressful for us to handle. We decided to take a break and found ourselves getting pregnant out of no where and on our own. Unfortunately after a few weeks I began to bleed and ended up miscarrying in the hospital at 7 weeks pregnant. Again we had to go through the grieving processes and again I felt alone. 

  It wasn’t until I decided to get another opinion that I finally felt alittle relief. I was told to expect to be at the first appointment for up to 4 hours. He was very thorough and did every possible test you could think of. By the end, all he told me was that I don’t need all these treatments they where doing and he suggested that my progesterone is just low. Progesterone is a hormone your body makes and is necessary to build the uterine lining so that the fertilized egg can implant and continue to grow. So we moved forward with his suggestion and used progesterone suppositories after I ovulated. We prayed that one would stick and stay. 

  After 3 years of trying and 2 miscarriages, my rainbow baby came on May 18th 2014. Jake Gerard came at 2:24am weighing in at 6lbs and 13ounces.

Image source

My pregnancy wasn’t the easiest but it progressed the way it should and I didn’t have too many terrible symptoms. We did have one little scare at 10 weeks when I had some spotting but otherwise I was fine and best of all my baby was growing normally. He came 5 weeks early and spent a few days in the NICU but only because he had low blood sugar. Once that evened out we where able to take him home. 

  Although I have this absolute miracle, I still have suffered more loss than I can handle. I currently have had 3 more miscarriages on another journey to give Jake a sister or brother, but that’s another story for another time.

  In this process I have found some unlikely sources to help me cope with my infertility and pregnancy loses. I see a therapist when needed to help me get out the emotions I keep bottled up. I found others that I am close too that have gone through similar situations and use them for support and advice when I need it. I browse the internet reading countless stories of loss and success and it helps me feel like I’m not alone. I like to paint although I don’t do it nearly enough. Most of all I cherish every minute I get to have with this child that grew inside me. The one quote I found that meant something to me through this process was “When the world says give up, HOPE whispers, try it one more time” I may have Tryed it way more than one time, but it got me through each individual situation. 


 If your out there going through anything similar to what we have gone through, just know that your not the only one suffering. Although it’s something that will always be there, it will get better. Keep trying to find what’s right for you and your family. You have to do what’s best for you. You are strong and amazing, but most of all, you are NOT alone.


Kristine Blesi

#rainbowbabies #infertility #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #recurrentmiscarriage #hopeafterastorm #hope #justkeepswimming #dory #findingnemo #ellen #ellendegeneres #miracles #youarenotalone

  
  

DIY- Bar

This was a DIY project that I will admit was my idea, but my step dad did all the work lol.

When I first bought my house, I was on Pinterest pretty much and chance I could. I came across the bar in this blog: http://pin.it/SnQisRC

I showed the picture to my step dad and trusted him enough to make it his own. 

I live very close to the Delaware River and one day he happened to stumble upon pieces of a wooden boat and washed up on the beach. He took the wood back to my house. The next few days he cut, sanded, and polyurethaned it and then attached it to the wall. We then went to Home Depot and picked out plumbing pipes. He attached those to the bottom of the bar.

Obviously he did some advanced construction that I would never understand and could never explain. But this was his finished project:

 

Side note, chairs are from Target.

#homedecor #diy #bar #diybar #lifestylebloggers #target #industrial #rustic

DIY- Bathroom Sign

I can’t take all the credit for this DIY project. I was at my friend Michelle’s new house, a few years ago, for the first time and was about to ask where her bathroom was, when I realized that she had a sign on a door that simply stated “restroom.” I thought, what a great idea.

In February 2016, I bought my first home. I have a half bathroom downstairs in my living room and every time I had company over, they would ask me where the bathroom was. When I would show them, they would laugh and say, they thought it was a closet.

I starting looking on Pinterest for ideas for signs and came across this blog: http://thislilhouse.blogspot.com/:

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From this idea, I decided to go to Michaels for supplies. Near the popsicle sticks, I found these: http://www.michaels.com/creatology-wood-people-shapes/10289934.html#q=Creatology&pmpt=qualifying&sz=24&start=142

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After finding those, I started looking at frames but couldn’t find anything that I liked. I was about to give up when I walked down the seasonal section and found a simple piece of wood, already painted with a rustic finish and had a string on the back. I figured this would be perfect and would save me money.

I then went to the paint section and found the cheapest paint I could find in a color that matched my living room: http://www.michaels.com/craft-smart-acrylic-paint/M10143158.html?dwvar_M10143158_color=Bright%20Pink#start=3

capture2When I got home, I painted the wood people and let them dry overnight. In the morning, I used my hot glue gun to glue them onto the piece of wood. The whole project cost me about $7.00 and this is my finished product:

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#DYI #homedecor #lifestyleblogger

Sisters 

  Ok I’ll admit it, growing up with a sister wasn’t the easiest. Different personalities sharing one room. Me being the messy one, her being crazy clean. We stole each other’s clothes, pranked each other, and fought constantly.
   It wasn’t until I moved out and started planning my wedding that I realized all those silly times saying we hated each other, only made me love her more. I knew how to press her buttons but it wasn’t as satisfying now that she wasn’t across the room annoying me. Instead of being my bratty sister she become my friend and it happened in an instance when I wasn’t expecting it. She was there for me when no one else was and basically became my wedding planner Her ideas where amazing so who could blame me. I couldn’t have pulled off such an incredible day without her. 
  Now, after getting to know her on a different level I realized all the time I missed growing up. We have been making that up every since. She is an incredible aunt/godmother to my son and now we have fun and silly times together. Most involve a few drinks but what can I say, we know how to have a good time. We may live in two different states (45mins from each other), but we still talk every day. It doesn’t have to be about life, it could be advice about style and decor or gossip, or just funny memes that means something to us. 

  We appreciate each other so much more now. Although, we are still learning the lines between sister and best friend, it has been the most amazing and eye opening experience of my life. I wouldn’t know what to do without her. 

Kristine Blesi-older/cooler sister!!


#sisters #mysisterismybestfriend #growingup #brattysisters #aunt #godmother #goodtimes #maidofhonor #lifestyleblogger