Well it’s that time. That time that everyone starts reflecting on the past year and begins to plan ahead for the next. New Year’s Eve can be over rated but for me, I’m just looking to put 2016 in the past and I’m ready to make 2017 my year. We started off 2016 pregnant and happy and content and although I’m not pregnant at the end of this year, I am happy and content. This year came with a ton of struggle for me but also a lot of great memories as well. Losing two pregnancies in 2016 should have broken me but guess what? I’m still here and I may be slightly broken, but I’m ok.
I’ve learned that life isn’t easy, that you have to work at it to make things happen. I’ve learned that I’m not perfect and I never will be, but I’m content with that. I’ve learned that struggle is real and if you don’t get help or find something to help you release the bullshit, your going to crack at some point. I’ve also learned how to be happy with what life has given me and I’ve stopped wishing for more because everything I have is ENOUGH.
Being a mom has taught me a lot over the past 2 years. Striving to be the perfect mom isn’t the way to go, striving to be the best version of yourself is way more realistic. I obsess over everything, I need things to be perfect and when they aren’t I can explode. This year is when I realized that nothing is perfect and I have to deal with it. It wasn’t easy and I’m still dealing but for the most part I’m starting to enough life and all of its moments. You can’t control everything in life and that’s really hard for me to grasp but That’s life. It’s unpredictable and amazing and awful and right back to amazing again.
As I look into 2017 with a new outlook on life, I hope to feel as content as I am right now. I only wish for everyone to have a happy and healthy New year and start enjoying all of life’s great gifts. You may be praying for a new baby or a new career and keep doing that. You never know what life will have in store for you going into 2017. Just take care of yourself and do the things you said you were going to do.
For me I want to keep trying for baby number 2 even if it isn’t in the stars for us. I don’t want to regret not giving it a shot and that may mean talking about IVF, which scares the living shit out of me, but if that’s what it takes than here we go! I also want to try to go on vacation with just my husband. We would love to visit Ireland and although we are broke and have bills and debt and need a new car. We deserve a break and vacation so hopefully we get to do that sometime this year. We are going to work for it in 2017. Wether it breaks us or not. You only have one life and one chance to make things happen. This is going to be our year and I won’t take no for an answer.
Have a Happy and Healthy and Safe and Lucky and Hopeful New Year!!!
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